WORLD DOMINATION!
by StupidlyAwesome
Summary: The world is being taken over by 2Ps! After their counterparts introduce themselves rather polietly, read as the Axis and Allies team up in an attempt to save the world! ...Or at least the countries that weren't killed off in the first five chapters. Crack fic. Rewritten. Rated T for language, violence, and character death.
1. A Second England?

_Hey, guys! So, I originally wrote this story three years ago on my independent account. My sister and I decided to re-write it because we thought that it could be a lot better. Hopefully, with the help of Meles, I'll actually finish it this time. With all that in mind, we hope you enjoy! :D_

 _~Free_

 _Disclaimer: Hetalia and 2Ptalia belong to Hidekaz Himaruya._

* * *

 **Chapter 1: A Second England!?**

England just got back from the tiresome world meeting that seems to take place in the beginning of every Hetalia fanfiction. He groaned as he walked into his room. All he wanted to do was get some rest. Suddenly, he saw something strange. His mirror was glowing a bright shade of pink. England tilted his head and cautiously approached the mirror. He was about to touch it until he noticed that the reflection was not his own. Splashes of pink and blue were seen for only a moment. England jumped and pulled his hand away. Then, to his surprise, a real person began to slowly crawl out of the mirror. England stared in shock and horror. He had dealt with magic and supernatural creatures in the past, but this was something else entirely.

As the man came out of the mirror, England realized that they looked almost identical. They both had the same height and stature. They even had the same thick eyebrows. However, any similarities stopped there. The man had neat pink hair, because I have no fucking idea. I mean, his 2P!Fem has brown hair, so I don't see why this would be, but whatever. That's what the fandom thinks, I guess. Along with his pink hair, he had glowing blue eyes and wore a pink vest with a light blue bow tie. He also wore tan pants and brown shoes. Notice that this description is the same copy and paste version of 2p!England that the fandom loves for reasons unknown. Shocker.

England shrieked like a little school girl. "W-Who are you?"

The man from the mirror smiled. "Hello there! My name is Oliver Kirkland!"

Wait. Something's not right. Let's try that again.

The man from the mirror smiled. This time, however, he spoke with an ungodly thick cockney accent. "Lawd above! 'Ello there, poppet! My name is Oliver Kirkland an' I am yahr 2p!"

Perfect.

The original England scratched his head. "The fuck is a 2P?"

"Lor' luv a duck! Thee don't know? Well, a 2P is short fer Second Player. It's like when two people pick da same character ter play in a video game! One 'as a differen' color palette so the players can tell da difference! So, like those video game characters, ahr designs are similar, but we are entirely different. For every coun'ry in yahr world, there is anuvver version ov 'em in mine! Know what I mean?"

How Oliver even knows all of this, the world may never know.

Arthur nodded. "I see."

Oliver smiled with excitement. "I knew yew would get it, poppet! Now, poppet, would yew like some cupcakes, poppet?" He asked, whipping out a tray full of cupcakes seemingly out of nowhere.

Arthur thought for a moment. "Alright. I don't see why not."

"Excellent... All accordin' ter plan.." For a split second, Oliver had a sinister look on his face before it reverted back to being all cheery. He pointed dramatically with his free hand. "To da dinin' room!"

After making their way to the dining room, Oliver turned to Arthur with a grin that wasn't overly sweet or anything. He handed him a cupcake with pink frosting and sprinkles. "Here yew go, love."

Arthur had to admit that the cupcake looked delicious. He sat down at the table and took a bite of the frosted cupcake. However, within an instant, he was choking and gasping for breath. The pain he felt was excruciating. It hurt. "Oliver!" He cried. "What the fuck?"

"Oh, Arthur, 'asn't yahr mum ever taught yew not ter talk ter strangers?" Oliver chuckled. "You see, I was sen' 'ere ter help take over yahr world. The uvvers shouldn't be an' all far behind."

Arthur tried to make sense of what Oliver was saying as he struggled for breath. How could he be so foolish to trust this man he met only a few minutes ago? Now he was going to die and never see his sweet, sweet America ever again. And before you get your panties all wet, yes, this is suddenly a USUK story. Why? No reason. Deal with it.

"You won't get away with this!" Arthur gasped between breaths.

Oliver opened the front door before turning back to face Arthur. "Oh, I already 'ave."

With that, everything became dark and fuzzy and soon Arthur could no longer stay conscious.

...Was this really the end?

...

No, because Arthur suddenly found himself awake and in the arms of his beloved. After all, he couldn't mistake that radiant cowlick. "A-America?" He muttered.

America gasped, pulling away with tears threatening to spill from his gorgeous sky blue eyes. "Iggy?" Once the boy saw that Arthur was indeed awake, he smiled and gave him a big ol' bear hug. "Iggy! Thank liberty you're alright!"

Arthur smiled and wrapped his arms around America's broad shoulders. _"So, this is really happening. I really was poisoned by that man, my 2p. I wonder if America knows about any of this. Either way, one thing is clear: I am going to protect America with my life."_

 _ **To be continued...**_


	2. 2P What'shisname

**Chapter 2: 2P What'shisname**

After eventually forcing America off of him, Arthur realized that he was not the only unexpected guest. Canada was there as well, looking almost as worried as his brother. America was the first to break the silence.

"Hey, Iggy?" He asked, apparently unable to stop referring to Arthur as such, even though he had never done so in canon. "What happened to you? When we came, you were on the ground and not responding to anything."

Arthur grew silent, remembering what happened before America and Canada showed up. He sighed. "Oliver happened," he said way too dramatically.

There was silence.

"What?" America blurted.

"Who the hey is Oliver?" Canada asked.

"He's my 2P," Arthur replied.

America and Canada suddenly gasped. "You ran into a 2P too!?" They both exclaimed in totally unplanned unison.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

America and Canada exchanged looks before the latter sighed. "Before we came here, I saw my 2P too."

Arthur's eyes widened. "Really? What was he like?"

And so, Canada began to tell the story of how he and America came upon his 2p...

* * *

It was early in the morning and Canada was in his bathroom, getting ready for the day. He just began to brush his teeth when his mirror suddenly began to glow a bright red. Canada jumped and, to his surprise, a man began to emerge from the mirror. The man was identical to Canada in appearance, but there were crucial differences that set them apart. For example, this man wore his blonde hair in a messy ponytail and had dark sunglasses covering his eyes with a scowl to match. He wore a red jacket over a red and black flannel shirt. He also held a hockey stick that was tinted red with what appeared to be blood.

Their eyes had met for only a few seconds before the man let out a gasp. Canada stared at the man, frozen in place, as he suddenly dropped his hockey stick. _THUMP!_ Canada jumped at the loud noise. He was about to speak when the man interrupted him. "Oh, man. Of all the people to ambush, why did it have to be you!?"

Canada blinked. "What?"

"You're just so perfect!"

Canada's eyes widened. "Huh!?"

Suddenly, America burst into the room. Did I mention he spent the night? "Hey, man. Get out of the way. I have to-OH MY GOD! Who is that guy!?" America pointed at the other man.

"Uh…" Before Canada could even attempt to explain, the man suddenly lifted his hockey stick.

"I'm sorry, my love." With that, he tightly shut his eyes and stuck Canada down.

The maple lover, now unconcious, collapsed to the floor with a satisfying ' _thump.'_

America cried out in horror. "What'syourname, no!"

Before he could react, the man turned to America and struck him in the head as well. The nation fell beside his brother, unconscious. That was the last thing they remembered. The next thing they knew, America and Canada woke up in the basement, tied to chairs along with Canada's polar bear, Kumokiki.

* * *

"Uh dude." America interrupted. "Your bear's name is Kumajiro."

"Shut your face, America. I'm telling a story."

* * *

Canada looked around and noticed that they being held in his basement-and that they weren't alone. Sitting backwards on a chair on the opposite side of the room, was their mysterious assailant, staring right at them. It wasn't long until the man noticed they were now conscious.

"So, you're finally awake," the stranger muttered, standing up from his chair.

"Wh-who are you?" Canada asked while America began to struggle.

"My name is Matt," The man answered as he walked towards them, hockey stick in hand.

America suddenly stopped struggling and looked up at the man. "Who?" He asked ironically.

"Matt."

"Who?" America repeated.

"Matt!"

"What's a Matt?"

"Me!"

"We see," America said, even though he really didn't see.

"Whatever. Anyway, I'm his 2P," Matt said, pointing his hockey stick at Matthew.

"You're his what now?" America asked, raising an eyebrow.

"2P is short for Second Player. They appear similar to their counterpart, but are completely different. Got it, dipshit?"

"Wait, if you're my...counterpart, then does that mean the other nations have counterparts too?" Matthew asked, his heart pounding at the thought.

"Do I have one?" America chimed in.

Matt scowled and turned away. "I can't answer that."

America's eyes widened. "There are others, aren't there?"

Matt suddenly whipped towards America, shoving his hockey stick inches away from his face. "If you don't shut up and stop asking questions right now, I'm gonna-!"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, silencing Matt. America and Matthew quickly exchanged glances. Matt groaned and slowly lowered his hockey stick. He began to walk up the stairs until he turned to them, "If either of you make a sound, I'll bash 'Dipshit's' head in." With that, Matt went upstairs and made his way to the door.

Once he answered it, he was met with an old priest. He held a small pamphlet and wore a large smile. "Excuse me, sir. Do you have time to learn about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?"

"No," Matt answered flatly. "No, I do not."

Back downstairs, America and Matthew had managed to break free from their loosely tied ropes. Once America gave Matthew a boost, he managed to open the basement window. With Kumajiro and his brother at his side, he crawled out. After shutting the window behind them, they got in Matthew's car.

"Where do we go? Wh-What do we do?" Canada asked as he fumbled with his keys.

"Don't worry. I know a place!"

"Where?"

America suddenly looked out the window, dramatically squinting his eyes. "Iggy's house."

* * *

"So, wait. _You're_ the one who wanted to get help?" Arthur looked to America.

"Well, yeah! We're obviously dealing with aliens! Or something."

"Your friend is an alien, America."

America gasped. "How rude! Tony is not an alien! Trump said so!"

"You mean that orange potato you call your boss?"

"Hey! Only my people and I can insult the orange potato!"

"Guys, stop! We have a situation!" Matthew interrupted.

"Right, right. Sorry. So, what do we do?" America asked, with a hint of concern in his voice.

"We need to gather the nations," Arthur said.

"Wait. _All_ of them? Even the micronations?"

"No, you git! Only the important ones!"

"Ohhhh. Got it."

With that, America went off to make some phone calls, leaving Matthew and Arthur alone.

"What do you think they want? The 2Ps, I mean?" Matthew whispered.

Arthur sighed. "I don't know, Canada. I don't know."

 _ **To be continued...**_


	3. The One With The Dinosaur

**Chapter 3: The One With The Dinosaur**

"Then America suggested we come to England's house and we found him unconscious. When he came to, he told us that he met his 2P as well," Matthew finished telling the other important nations.

Surrounding him were the former Axis and Allies. After America had called them, each member had come in a matter of hours, despite time differences and the complications of travel. Germany, Japan, and Italy stood close together while Prussia and Romano were standing somewhat behind them. France, Russia, and China were on the opposite side. Russia was playing with China's hair because why not. Besides that, they all stood in stunned silence.

"I can't believe this is happening," Japan muttered, after a moment.

Wait, hold on. This is wrong. Just like 2P!England, Japan's accent must also be exaggerated.

"I can't berieve this is happening," Japan muttered, after a moment.

Much better.

"Have any of you guys seen your 2Ps?" America questioned.

They all collectively shook their heads.

"I love being alive," Prussia suddenly chimed in.

Everyone turned to look at Prussia in confusion.

"Uh… Thanks for sharing," Germany said. "Anyway, what should we do about this situation?"

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Italy excitedly jumped up and down while waving his hand. "We can make a huge white flag and surrender as soon as possible so they don't hurt us!"

Germany sighed and gave Italy a sympathetic pat on the back. "No, Italy."

Italy frowned and put his hand down. "Okay," He muttered sadly.

As the others threw in possible solutions, America stepped away and stared out the window. Arthur noticed his discomfort. "What's wrong, America?"

"I don't know. I just got a weird feeling is all."

* * *

Meanwhile at America's house, his bedroom mirror began to glow a dark shade of red. Slowly, a man made his way out of the mirror. Aside from his dark hair, red eyes, and tanned skin, he looked identical to America. The man also carried a baseball bat tied up in barbed wire with nails sticking out of it. After taking in his surroundings, the man stretched. He then took out his cell phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end asked.

"Hey, Matt? It's me, Allen," America's look-alike said. "How are you holding up over there?"

"Oh. Hey, Al. Listen, we got a problem."

Allen sighed. "What did you fuck up now?"

"Our counterparts escaped."

"What!?" Allen shouted into the phone. "Why'd you let them leave?"

"Look, I'm sorry! They just got out of their ropes somehow. One minute I had them, and they next they were gone! But get this: my counterpart is the most adorable thing I've ever seen! I think I may have a crush."

"We're not here to fall in love with our 1Ps; we're here to talk over their world!" Allen sighed. "Great. Now, the boss is gonna be pissed at us."

"Don't worry; we'll track them down. Listen, I gotta go. I'll call you back when I find them."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

After rolling his eyes, Allen put his cell phone back into the pocket of his bomber jacket. He then searched around the room until he found what he was looking for. He grabbed his counterpart's car keys and exited the house. Finally, he got into America's car and began to drive away.

* * *

Back at Arthur's house, the nations were all sitting around and enjoying a nice game of Monopoly. Four of the nations were sitting out since only seven could play at a time. Italy, Germany, Romano, and China went bankrupt, leaving the game down to Alfred, Arthur, and Japan. The last of the three was in the lead with Alfred being a close second.

Suddenly, Germany spoke up. "Wait, when did we start playing Monopoly?"

"Well, we couldn't think of any solutions to the whole 2P problem, so we started playing a nice wholesome game of Monopoly!" Alfred replied with a smile.

"FUCK!" Arthur shouted as he landed on Japan's Boardwalk, leaving him with a debt of 2,000 dollars.

"But not too wholesome!" Alfred added as Arthur begrudgingly joined the loser table.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Everyone froze. Even though all of them were silent, everyone was thinking the same thing. 'What if it was one of the 2Ps?' After a minute or two of silence, there was another knock at the door.

Alfred pushed Arthur forward. "Iggy, you answer it!"

"Why _me_!?" Arthur demanded.

"Well, it is your house, да?" Russia said with a smile.

The other nations mumbled in agreement. Arthur pouted and went to the door, mumbling under his breath. Once he opened it, he found none other than Spain.

"Hola, England! Can I borrow your-" Suddenly Spain's eyes lit up. "Ooh! Are you playing Monopoly? Can I join?"

"Sure! The more the merrier!" Alfred said.

"He can't just join. We're in the middre of a game." Japan said, gesturing to the board.

America shrugged. "Oh, we can just start over!"

"WE'VE BEEN PLAYING FOR TWO HOURS!" Arthur shouted.

Ignoring Arthur's cries, Spain ran in. "Yay!"

Romano looked up from the loser table and jumped. "Wait, when did you get here!?"

"Lovi!" Spain launched himself across the room and threw his arms around Romano.

"Get your hands off me!" Romano cried, his face as red as a tomato.

Before you get your panties all went a second time, this is also a spamano fanfic. Why? Because. That's why.

"You didn't answer my question you tomato bastard!"

"Ah, yes! I came to ask England if I could borrow a cup of his _finest_ sugar!" Spain answered cheerfully.

"Why couldn't you just ask Portugal?" Romano said.

"He didn't have any." Spain said, finally letting go of Romano. "And France was away!"

France, finally catching wind of what was happening, put down his hand held mirror and began to make finger guns at Spain. "Ayyy!"

Spain, as a symbol of friendship, returned the gesture. "Ayyy!"

Prussia, now exiting the bathroom, joined in. "Ayyy!"

"Ayyy!" They all said at once, still doing their finger guns.

"Can we stop now, aru?" China said. "We need to think of a plan!"

"Ooh! A plan? For what? Are we going on a picnic?"

France laughed. "I wish, mon ami. But, sadly, no."

"Have you not heard of the situation? With the 2Ps?" Germany asked.

Spain cocked his head to the side. "What's a 2P?"

"Oh. I guess we forgot to call you." Arthur muttered.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if he was one of the important countries or not." Alfred admitted. "Ooh, wait! Should I call Mexico? She's important! Plus, she makes the best tacos!"

"No, you git. There are enough characters in this fanfiction as it is!" Arthur objected, being a total tsundere about it.

"Aw. Okay…" Alfred lowered his head. A few seconds later, however, he recovered and pointed to Matthew. "Matt, tell the story!"

"A third time?" Matthew asked reluctantly.

"Yes! I'm no good at stories unless it's about me!"

Matthew sighed. One story later, Spain nodded. "I see. This is a rather malo situation."

Malo means bad.

"Indeed." Russia nodded, even though he seemed really happy with the current circumstances.

"I just hope mine isn't scary…" Italy whimpered as he clung to Germany.

And, yes, before you get your panties wet for a THIRD time, this is also a gerita fanfic. But we like gerita, so it's gonna be good.

"Well, you want to know the best thing about this chapter?" France chimed.

"What, aru?" China questioned.

"No one got hurt or killed off!"

Before they could celebrate this fact, a giant dinosaur suddenly tore part of the roof off. It let out a mighty roar before grabbing Prussia with its sharp teeth. The dinosaur flung the nation around in its mouth for a bit before swallowing him whole. It roared again and then marched off, satisfied with its work. The room was dead quiet until Romano muttered, "What the fuck?"

 _ **To be continued...**_


	4. 2P Invasion

_**Quick Author's Note before we begin, because we wanted to say that we are sorry for this chapter taking a bit longer than the others to be released. We hate writing fight scenes so we kept putting it off. Sorry about that.**_

 _ **~MentalMeles**_

* * *

 **Chapter 4: 2P Invasion**

An hour or so had passed since The Dinosaur Incident(™) and the nations were back at trying to think of a plan, with little to no success. Germany had thought of just attacking their 2Ps and be done with it, while Japan wanted to negotiate with them peacefully. Alfred, however, thought that Japan's plan sucked and wanted to go forward with Germany's. Arthur, of course, agreed to everything Alfred said, because of their love or some shit and the other nations were getting kinda tired of it.

France and Spain, on the other hand, had their own matters to deal with. After ugly crying for the past hour due to The Dinosaur Incident(™) and the loss of their dear friend, France and Spain now stared up at the gaping hole in Arthur's ceiling in sad silence. It had seemed that they would've stayed that way forever, until Spain suddenly broke the silence.

"So, what do we call ourselves now? The Bad Friends Duo?" He asked.

"Now that just sounds silly," France answered. He paused to think before continuing. "Maybe we should just get a new member."

"Okay." Spain looked around the room until his eyes landed on one person in particular. "Hey, Romano!"

"No!" Romano yelled from across the room.

"But Lovi!"

"'But Lovi' my ass!"

"Damn it."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Allen and Matt kicked the door down. Allen raised his bat up into the air and began to shout. "Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground!"

Spain pointed at them. "How about one of them? _They_ could be part of the Bad Friends Trio."

"Shut up!" Matt yelled. "Now everyone get down, or we'll bash your heads in!"

"Wait. Who are you again?" Alfred asked, pointing at Matt.  
Matt groaned. "Matt! My name is Matt!"  
"What?"  
"You know what!? Just shut up, okay!?"  
"Well _excuse_ me, princess." Alfred said as he got down on the ground.  
As Matt rolled his eyes, a group of men walked into the room from behind him. The 1Ps, now down on the ground, all gasped in dismay as they realized that their counterparts had found them. Even the stoic Japan seemed surprised. Then, when the final 2P walked into the room, Arthur's eyes widened and he gasped again.

" _You!_ " He shrieked dramatically.

"'Ello, poppet!" Oliver waved cheerfully.

"Well, well, well, well, well…well. Look who it _fuckin'_ is," one of their counterparts said as he stepped forward.

"Is that…?" Germany whispered, stealing a glance of Italy.

The man looked almost exactly like him, except everything about him seemed...darker. His eyes were a startling shade of magenta and he had a darker tone of olive skin. He also wore a brown military uniform, including a dark cap with a purple feather sticking out of the top. He held a knife in his hand as casually as a student would a pencil. The biggest difference between them, however, was the unsettling aura Italy's counterpart gave off. It sent chills down Germany's spine.

"Looks like everything is finally in order to begin our plan," the 2P Italian said with a smile.

China raised his hand. "You mean the one to take over our world, aru?"

Italy's 2P then froze. He groaned and slowly turned to the other counterparts with a scowl. "Which one of you idiots told them?" In a blind panic, Oliver began to hum really loud as he looked around the room with wide eyes and Italy's 2P facepalmed. "Can someone slap him for me?"

Allen smiled and slapped Oliver so hard that he fell to the ground, whimpering. The 1Ps couldn't help but wince.

"Ow! There's no need fer such 'arshness!" Oliver cried.

"Oriver, we're riterarry here to kirr them." The man who looked an awful lot like Japan said.

"That's besides da point, Kuro."

Italy raised his hand. "Um… Why though?"

"Because we want to take over your world? Duh, silly." The man who was dressed strangely fashionable for a mass murder chimed in.

"Okay, so why do you want to take over our world then, you-?" Romano stopped, a puzzled expression on his face. "Shit, _you're_ not my 2P, are you?"

"Aww, Lovi! You're so cute even when you're evil and trying to kill us all!" Spain cooed.

"Spain, now is not the time." Russia sighed.

"For once, I agree with Russia..." America said.

"We want this world because ours is hell. Our governments are flawed, you don't matter unless you're a man and part of the majority, and we're constantly threatened with nuclear war and annihilation because some of our bosses are overly sensitive dicks." Allen said.

"That sounds a lot like our world though…" Canada whispered.

"Well, it's worse!" The counterpart that resembled the late Prussia said.

"Uhh… Are you sure about tha-?"

"Enough talk!" 2P Italy interrupted. "It's time to end this once and for all!"

As their counterparts began to make their way towards them, Italy began to cry and wave a white flag.

"White flag! White flag, see!? See!?"  
Germany quickly moved in front of the frantic Italian. "Italy, stay behind me!"

"Which one!?" Romano cried from the opposite side of the room.

Before Germany could reply, 2P Italy threw a knife his way. He was barely able to dodge it in time. As the knife penetrated the wall, 2P Italy quickly ran at Germany. In his hand was another knife. Italy cried out and Germany moved back in front of him. As he got ready to fight back, however, he found himself hesitating. Seeing his opportunity, 2P Italy sliced at Germany. He ripped through his shirt and gave Germany a long gash across his chest.

"Germany!" Italy cried.

Meanwhile, Prussia's 2P had backed Matthew up in a corner. Sweat dripped down his face as the 2P withdrew a sword. He raised the sword above his head. Matthew gasped and closed his eyes.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" A voice rang out.

Matthew then felt someone squeezing him. He opened his eyes and saw that it was none other than Matt.

"This one is off limits!" He cried.

"Ah! Stop it!" Matthew protested.

2P Prussia watched the scene unfold with confusion. "What the fuck?"

From the other side of the room, Alfred saw that Matthew was in need of help. So, being the hero and his bro, Alfred began to run over to him. He was stopped, however, by Russia's 2P. He immediately swung his pipe at him.

"Whoa!" Alfred said, dodging the pipe at the last moment.

This, however, caused him to lose his balance and he found himself falling against the wall. Not missing a beat, 2P Russia swung his pipe down at the American. Alfred's eyes widened and he braced himself for the impact. But it never came. To his surprise, Russia had blocked his 2P's attack with his own pipe. Alfred felt his heart skip a beat as his face went hot.

"Wow!" He said with stars shining in his eyes.

"HEY!" Arthur screeched in the distance.

"Go! China and I will hold them off!" Russia shouted to the others.

"Rearry? You'd do that for us?" Kiku asked with disbelief as France helped Alfred, who was still starry eyed, to his feet.

"Yes, aru!" China chimed in as he held his fists up."Don't you know that everyone needs a little RoChu in their lives!? Now, go! Hurry, aru!"

"Goodbye, Russia. China. We shall always remember you." France said.

"We're not dying, aru!"

France shrugged. "Eh, you never know."

With that, the remaining 1Ps ran out of Arthur's house. They all scrambled into his car, somehow managing to fit. Arthur quickly put the car into drive and sped away. As the rest of the 1Ps escaped, Russia and China were instantly defeated and bound to chairs in the closet.

"Huh. You know, that was truly unexpected." Russia said, looking down at his ropes. "I mean, what were the odds of that happening? The two of us losing against eleven of them? This is officially the worst plan we have ever come up with."

"Well, I thought you would have defeated them with your super strength or _something_! Remember in our movie where those aliens invaded and you sent them flying by only touching them with your hand? What happened to that, aru!?" China screeched.

"I guess the authors underestimate my strength."

Meanwhile, out in the living room, Italy's counterpart was berating the other 2Ps.

"You idiots! How could you let them escape!? We were this close to getting rid of the important nations! Now who knows where they could've gone!?"

"Luci, Luci, calm down." Germany's counterpart said.

"Don't call me that, Lutz! And don't fucking tell _me_ to calm down!"

Suddenly, Lutz picked the smaller nation up and began to hug him. "Now, now, Luciano. Mediate with me. Ohm...Ohm...Ohm."

Luciano flinched at the unwanted attention, but, with time, his breathing gradually began to slow down and he became calmer.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah, you can put me down now." Luciano grumbled.

"No, wait." Lutz whispered as he hugged Luciano closer. "Just a little longer."

Instead of giving in, Luciano slapped him. "Ow!" Lutz said as he rubbed his cheek.

"Alright, first things first. Since we lost our 1Ps for now, we can proceed to phase two."

"You mean the plan where we disguise as them and take over their countries?" Romano's 2P asked.

"No, the plan where we get spaghetti and sing show tunes!" Luciano jeered. "Yes, the plan where we take over their countries!"

"But...Are we actually gonna get spaghetti after this plan?"

"You know what, Flavio? Just shut up. Now, everybody get in my car! We're going to the mall!"

"But, Luciano-?" Flavio began.

"GET THE FUCKING FUCK IN MY FUCKING CAR!" Luciano yelled as he pointed to the door.

The 2Ps grumbled a bit before walking outside and getting into Luciano's car. Back in the closet, Russia sat around being Russian while China was looking for a way out.

"You know, I've realized something."

"And what's that, aru?" China asked, bracing for the worst.

"I've realized we're not as close as we could be and since we're not getting out of here any time soon, I say we bond a bit. So, what was it like raising the Asian countries?"

"Hell."

* * *

After some debate of what to do next, France suggested that they went to his house. Arthur protested, of course, but Matthew was able to calm him down. So, they made their way to France's home. When they finally arrived, France smiled.

"Finally! I'm back home. This calls for a fashion montage!"

Before the fashion montage could begin, Arthur smacked him upside the head.

"No!"

France frowned and pulled out his keys. After finding the right one, he unlocked his door and opened it. What awaited them on the other side, however, was France's 2P. A cigarette hanged from his mouth and he had a gun.

"Bonjour, bitches." He said.

Before anything else could happen, France immediately shut the door. The 1Ps stood in silence for a hot second before Ludwig suggested they went to his house instead. After doing so, the gang triple checked the entire house for any 2Ps and found none. So, the nations settled in, albeit with a hint of anxiety. As they did this, Ludwig excused himself. Thirty minutes later, he came back with a crate with enough guns for everyone.

"Aw, hell yeah!" Alfred said as he took a pistol. "Next time, I'll be able to take on that Commie no problem!"

"Oh, like that's the only thing you want to do with him." Arthur muttered.

"Wha?"

"NEVERMIND!" Arthur said as he marched off with his own gun.

Ludwig sighed and fell back into his armchair. He then pulled out a familiar object.

"What have we gotten ourselves into, Herr Shtick?"

"Hey, Germany? I know that this probably won't make the situation any better, but do you want me to get you a beer?" Feliciano asked.

"Sure, that sounds nice." Ludwig admitted as he put Herr Schtick away.

"Okay!" Feliciano happily walked off into the kitchen.

France, however, began to sniff. "PRUSSIA LOVED BEER!"

Spain and France then began to weep uncontrollably at the memory of their dead friend. They then hugged and continued to cry in each others arms.

"Guys, he died rast chapter. You two need to move on." Kiku told the duo harshly.

"Shut up, man!" Spain cried out. "You don't know what it's like to lose a friend!"

"Don't take it out on Japan! It's not his fault the authors are making him out of character!" France sobbed.

Spain and France then continued to hug and cry. Kiku rolled his eyes and got out his book of anime doodles. His doodles were that of the 1Ps, including himself. Out of all of them, only one of the doodles was crossed out. It was a doodle of Prussia. Kiku frowned and crossed off the doodles of China and Russia, as they were no longer with the group and were probably already dead.

"Fucking westerners…" He mumbled under his breath.

Suddenly, there was loud banging on the door. Everyone froze. Feliciano, who just came back with Ludwig's beer, screamed and dropped the bottle.

"You guys hide and I'll shoot!" Alfred said as he pulled out his gun.

Everyone quickly darted to their respective hiding places. Alfred gulped, cocked his gun, and slowly approached the door. A drop of sweat rolled down his cheek as he grabbed the door handle. He took a breath and swung it open, only to reveal none other than the Nordics.

"Oh my gods! That was close!" Iceland panted heavily.

"The Nordics?" Lovino asked, poking his head out from behind a chair.

"What are you guys doing here?" Matthew asked.

"People! Look just like us! But scarier! Two something! Want to take over the world! Coming to kill us!" Finland cried frantically.

Sweden shut the door and put his hand on Finland's shoulder. "C'lm d'wn, m' w'f'."

(Translation: Calm down, my wife.)

"We came here because your house was the closest to Denmark's." Norway said to Ludwig. "Plus, the authors think we're awesome-"

Spain and France could be heard sobbing from the other side of the room.

"-and they wanted us to join you guys on your journey to save the world." He finished.

"Gosh darn it, Nor! There's no time to explain things!" Denmark yelled. "Everyone go back to hiding! I'll keep 'em busy and-"

Before Denmark could finish his sentence, the sound of a gunshot tore through the air. The room went silent as Denmark fell to the floor, his back bleeding. Everyone in the room gasped dramatically.

"DENMARK!"

 _ **To be continued...**_


	5. The Other Nordics

_Hey, everyone. It's been awhile. Meles and I felt a bit insecure about continuing this, because this remake didn't get as much attention as we hoped it would. Then we decided to continue it, because why not? We enjoy it and that's all that matters. (Plus, it feels like an accomplishment to see how much I've improved with my writing since over five years ago.) Special thanks to Morgan Groen for being supportive! With all that out of the way, we hope you enjoy!_

 _-Free_

* * *

 **Chapter 5: The Other Nordics**

All of the 1P nations were dead silent as they stared at Denmark's lifeless body. Then, five other men walked inside, one of them purposely stepping on Denmark's dead body. What a dick. Each one had a slight resemblance to the 1P Nordics.

"Well, well, well, well, well…well. Look what we got here," The same man who stepped on Denmark's body said with a smirk. "Not only have we finally cornered our counterparts, but found the important 1P nations too!" It wasn't hard to tell that this was 2P Denmark. He didn't really look that much different, save for a long diagonal scar across his face and red eyes.

"It wasn't really that hard to find them," Another one of them said rather cheerfully. He wore glasses and a neat blue uniform. The scary thing about him though was not his strange cheerfulness or the excitement in his eyes, but it was the fact that he was a fucking ginger.

Hiding behind Norway's look-alike was a lone boy, who was shaking and whimpering quietly. You could only see half of him, but it wasn't too hard to tell that it was Iceland's 2P.

"What the hell!? Why did you kill Denmark!?" Alfred cried. "Now I'm the only awesome one left!"

"Oh, get over it, you nincompoop." Arthur muttered, still salty about Alfred's moment with Russia.

One of the 2Ps shrugged. He resembled Finland, but looked more mad than anything. "From what I could tell, he was pretty annoying."

"That doesn't give you a reason to shoot him!" Alfred glared.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Norway asked. For once, he had actual emotion in his voice. You could practically feel the hatred in it. He was mad.

"How rude of us,"2P Denmark said. "Allow us to introduce ourselves. My name is Markell. I represent-"

"Oh God, this again?" Lovino groaned.

"Can we just get this over with and skip to the part where you try to kill us?" Feliciano said, sounding almost annoyed as his brother, for once.

"F'n', f'n', f'n'." The tallest of the 2Ps said. He was also a fucking ginger and with that unholy accent, it was obviously 2P Sweden. "W''ll 'll j'st s'' ''r n'm's 't th' s'm' t'm'."

(Translation: Fine, fine, fine. We'll all just say our names at the same time.)

The 2Ps collectively counted down from three and, at the count of one, said their names at the same time. In theory, this would've been a quick way to learn the names of their assailants, but in the end, the 1Ps had no fucking clue what the 2Ps even said.

Matthew raised his hand. "Uhm… Can you repeat that pl-?"

"Now, that you know who we are, prepare to die!" Markell cried a mighty battle cry and the 2Ps attacked.

Five minutes later, the 2P Nordics were defeated and tied up in the corner of the room.

"Huh. Five against fourteen… Maybe this wasn't the best plan," Markell said as he looked down at his ropes.

"Oh my gosh! Really?" 2P Finland said, annoyed.

"Big brother, I'm scared!" 2P Iceland looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Now, you're going to tell us how our 2Ps intend to take over the world, or else!" Spain demanded.

"Or else what!?" 2P Norway glared.

Spain shrugged. "I don't know. 'Or else' just sounded like the right thing to say."

Lovino facepalmed. "Idiota _._ "

"Do what you want! We'll never talk!" Markell said dramatically.

While Spain literally began to beg Markell for information, Ludwig scanned the group with a critical eye. Within a few seconds, he noticed that one of the 2Ps was shaking. 2P Iceland. He strangely reminded Ludwig of Feliciano, despite the circumstances. With that, he made a decision.

"You!" Ludwig pointed at him.

2P Iceland jumped and began to cry. "No, please, big brother! I don't wanna die yet!"

"You want out?"

2P Iceland opened an eye in surprise. "Huh?

"Would you like me to free you? I promise not to hurt you."

"Germany, what are you doing?" Feliciano asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Yeah, why are you offering to let him go? He's a bad guy!" Alfred said.

"Somehow, I'm not so sure," Ludwig replied. "He seems harmless."

"That's no excuse, potato bastard!" Lovino huffed.

"Look, what if we let him go in exchange for information?"

"What makes you think he'rr terr us anything?" Japan questioned.

"He appears to be the weakest of the bunch. He's scared and doesn't want to get hurt, so I think if we give him an out, he'll take it. What do you think?"

"I guess it's worth a try." Finland said with a hint of doubt in his voice.

Ludwig turned back to the 2Ps. "So what do you say? Tell us what we want to know, and we'll let you go."

2P Iceland blinked and slowly peered at his comrades. 2P Norway shook his head, mouthing the words, " _Don't you fucking dare or I swear to God."_

Finally, the innocent country turned away from his brother and nodded. "Yeah...Okay."

The other 2P Nordics collectively gasped.

"TRAITOR!" 2P Norway screamed as Ludwig helped him out of his ropes.

"I'm sorry, Loki…" As Loki began to shout out a string of curses at his younger brother, 2P Iceland explained their plan to take over their world. "After our England discovered this world, our Italy devised a plan to invade it and take it for ourselves. But, once we realized that this world had personified nations as well, we knew we had to...get rid of you. The way we understand it, the only way to do that is for a 2P to kill his corresponding 1P."

The 1P countries let the thought sink in in silence.

"What the hell!? That's fucking dark as fuck!" Alfred suddenly cried.

"I thought this fanfic was a comedy!" Feliciano sobbed, waving his white flag fruitlessly.

"OH NO! OUR COUNTRIES ARE GOING TO BE TAKEN OVER BY THE 2PS!" France yelled. "WE'RE DOOMED! ALL OF US ARE DOOMED!"

Arthur grabbed France by the shoulders and shook him."Get a hold of yourself!"

"Oh my gosh!" Spain shouted.

"What?" Iceland asked, suddenly tense.

"Russia and China!"

* * *

"So a few weeks back, I was going to the grocery store. I was just being a good little Russian, minding my own business, when Belarus came out from the oranges and proposed to me. No, wait. She _demanded_ that the two of us be wed at once! And I haven't eaten oranges since."

"What are you talking about, aru?" China asked, clearly annoyed.

"I'm telling a story!"

"Why, aru?"

"To pass the time."

"I hate you, aru."

Russia gasped. "No one has ever been brave enough to tell me that to my face before! Do you know what this means?"

"No, aru."

"We're bonding!" Russia clapped his hands with glee.

"Wait a minute. Are you fucking clapping, aru?" China asked.

"да."

"So your hands are free, aru?"

"да _._ "

"They didn't tie your hands, aru?"

"нет _."_

"You do realize that we've been stuck here for hours, right, aru?"

"Well, excuse me for wanting to bond!"

 _ **To be continued...**_


	6. I Can't Think of a Title for This One

**Chapter 6: I Can't Think of a Title for This One**

Everyone stood in Germany's basement while Lukas drew on the floor with chalk. At his side was a book full of spells and such. Where the chalk and spell book came from, I cannot say.

"So, wait. What are we doing again?" Alfred asked him.

"I'm setting up a spell that will take us straight to Russia and China, if performed correctly," Lukas replied, finishing the incantation.

"What happens if we don't do it right?" 2P Iceland whimpered, standing strangely close to Lukas.

"Bad things." Lukas stood up. "Now, from what I've been told you were in England's home when the 2Ps attacked you, correct?" The other nations nodded. "Alright. So all that we have to do for this to go smoothly, is hold hands, close our eyes and think about either Russia and China or simply England's place. And under no circumstances do you open your eyes while performing the spell."

"Why not?" Feliciano asked.

"Because it will ruin it. Does everyone understand?"

Everyone nodded and said yes in their own special way. You could even hear a "Pasta!" among all the murmuring. Under Lukas' instruction, everyone formed a circle around the incantation, held hands, and closed their eyes.

"Alright. Now, everyone be quiet."

Lukas took a deep breath and picked up the book. Then, he flipped to a certain page and began to chant. A blue light began to form in the center of the incantation. Alfred was getting more and more curious. He couldn't keep his eyes shut for long… Suddenly, a cry was heard throughout the room and a loud crash followed soon after. The blue light disappeared and the room went dark.

"Oh no..." Lukas looked around the room. "Who opened their eyes?"

Everyone looked to Feliciano, who now had his eyes wide open. "I'm sorry! The suspense was killing me!"

"You fool! Everyone, get back!" Lukas shouted.

Suddenly, the blue light returned in the shape of an orb. It went out of control, sparking and ricocheting against the floor, ceiling, and walls. Everyone screamed and started running in circles. That was when the orb shot towards one person in particular. Sweden gasped as the orb headed towards his Finland, who was struck with fear. Sweden got the sickening feeling that whoever the orb touched would die! Or something. Oh, well. He had a good run, right? Sweden jumped in the way dramatically, everything suddenly caught in slow motion.

"N'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''!"

(Translation: No.)

Suddenly, the slow motion sequence stopped and Sweden fell, face first on the floor in front of Finland, allowing the orb to hit him. As soon as it did, Finland dramatically burst into sparks of light. Before anyone could react, an unexpected, and kind of hilarious, chain of events occurred. As the light had hit Finland, it bounced off of his cross, landed on a random mirror on the ceiling, and hit Sweden. Then, the orb of light bounced off of Sweden's glasses and took Lukas, while also hitting and bouncing off of his pin, and finally hitting his younger brother. And just like that, the Nordics were all gone just as quickly as they came. Silence fell among the remaining nations before Arthur gasped, realization striking him.

"...Okay, you all saw that, right? I didn't mess up this time. That wasn't me."

Silence.

"It was definitely England," France muttered.

"Yeah, definitely," Alfred agreed.

The rest of the countries murmured in agreement.

"Fuck you, guys."

"Who's idea was it to put a mirror on the ceiling, anyway?" Spain asked, looking up at the ceiling.

"Prussia liked to look at himself," Ludwig explained.

"I like his style," France said, nodding with approval.

"What happened to them, anyway? Did they tereport to some random prace or did they die?" Kiku asked.

"Well, I'd say there's a one percent chance of them making it," Arthur said.

"Well, then let's assume that they're all spiffy!" Alfred smiled.

"No! They're dead, you git!" Arthur shouted.

Alfred frowned and looked back down to the floor. "Oh."

"Why are you guys so calm about this!?" 2P Iceland suddenly shouted. "They're gone and we don't know where they are! Shouldn't we search for them!?"

The others looked amongst themselves. "Search...for them?" Kiku asked, tilting his head.

"No way, eh! They're not the important nations!" Kumajiro suddenly spoke up, causing Matthew to flinch.

2P Iceland's eyes bulged with horror. " _Important nations!?"_

Matthew laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Boy, I wonder what Russia and China are doing!"

Nothing happened.

Arthur looked to the camera. "Cut to Russia and China Goddamnit!"

* * *

Meanwhile at England's place, Russia and China were now leaving the house behind. They walked down the front steps before approaching China's car. Russia pulled up short. "Um… China?"

"What, aru?" China didn't stop to turn around as he unlocked the car doors.

"Why is your car suddenly here? We were never at your place and Japan gave us a ride..."

"You wanna keep asking questions or do you wanna find the others, aru?"

"But-"

"Just get in the car, aru!"

"Alright, alright. But, who's driving?"

"I will. It's my car after all, aru."

A drop of sweat trailed down the side of Russia's face. (See how easy that was? You people who write anime sweat drops in your stories? It isn't that hard.) He began to stutter, but China ignored him and got in the driver's seat. Russia had no choice but to get in the passenger seat. After they both shut their doors, China put his keys in the ignition, backed up, and began to drive.

For a few seconds, the ride was peaceful with no problems. Of course, China had to plug his latest iPod into the radio. Then Chinese pop music blasted out of the radio at a high volume. If it wasn't at its maximum volume, it was surely close. Next, China pulled out yet another phone and started texting, using his funny Chinese characters.

"Comrade, you really shouldn't-"

Unfortunately, China mumbled to himself in Chinese. The language was really angry and almost stereotypical-sounding. Russia was lost. He laughed nervously and looked to the road. Suddenly, his violet eyes widened. "Oh no," He muttered quietly.

"Whaaaat, aru?" China asked, irritated.

Russia pointed to an object in the middle of the road dramatically. "TREEEEEEEEE!"

Both nations started screaming. China even let go of the wheel and the car began to spin. "PARK THE CAR! PARK THE CAR! PARK THE-!"

Before the Russian could finish, the car slammed into the tree. _CRASH!_ Some leaves fell from the large tree. Air bags smacked into both of their faces before they started to sink down. China fell out of the car and onto the hard road. "Ow."

"Oh no! China!" Russia got out of the car and kneeled on the street next to China. He put China's head onto his lap. "China, no! You have to be alright! You can't die now! Stay with me!"

"R-Russia..."

"Uh-huh?"

"There's a Western expression that America uses a lot... I believe it signifies friendship between one nation to another..."

"What is it?" Russia asked, tears in his eyes.

"Fuck... You..." The Chinese man said. Russia gasped as the other nation proceeded to die in his arms.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Russia cried as he looked up to the sky. He began to weep and if you think a crying Russia isn't depressing, I'm amazed. He sniffled before attempting to wipe his tears away. "Oh, how can this get any worse!?"

Suddenly, Belarus came out from a large bush. "Big brother! There you are!"

Russia screamed.

 _ **To be continued...**_


End file.
